before u say anythign rude or offensive just think to urself: would steve rogers say that? if the answer is no, don’t say it
mother: is it a boy or a girl?
doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor
when people start getting close to your friends
Grandma’a sewing is starting to get sassy
The Girl You Wish You Hadn’t Started A Conversation With At A Party
I’m angry because my hives are back. I get them every other summer all over both my hands and they’re so ITCHY.
(breaks into your house) can i pet your dogs